Electricity Bill (Jokes)

November 14th, 2008

Found this joke from an email. Like to share with u guys, hope u njoy! ;)

A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her
arms around his neck: “Darling, I have great news: I’m a month
overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a
test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”

The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell,
because the young couple hasn’t paid their last bill: “Are you Mrs.
Smith? You’re a month overdue, you know!”

“How do YOU know?” stammers the young woman.

“Well, ma’am, it’s in our files!” says the man from the electric
company.

“What are you saying? It’s in your files?????”

“Absolutely.”

“Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight.”

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a
bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next
morning.

“What’s going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month
overdue? What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.

“Just calm down,” says the clerk, “it’s nothing serious. All you
have to do is pay us.”

“PAY you? and if I refuse?”

“Well, in that case, sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off.”

“And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.

“I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.” :D

Rudd Government’s internet filter to block up to 10,000 ‘unwanted’ sites

November 13th, 2008
Internet ... Senator Stephen Conroy, the Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy / Michael Potter

Internet ... Senator Stephen Conroy, the Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy / Michael Potter

AUSTRALIA’S mandatory internet filter is being primed to block 10,000 websites as part of a blacklist of unspecified “unwanted content”, Communications Minister Stephen Conroy revealed in Federal Parliament.

The 10,000 blocked websites would include 1300 websites already blacklisted by the Australian Communications and Media Authority.

Senator Conroy revealed details of the Rudd Government’s proposed web filter as he called for expressions of interest from internet service providers for a live trial of the technology.

As part of the trial, ISPs will test different methods of filtering the web with subscribers who volunteer. The trial is expected to last six weeks and will start before Christmas.

“The pilot will specifically test filtering against the ACMA blacklist of prohibited content, which is mostly child pornography, as well as filtering of other unwanted content,” Senator Conroy told Parliament.

“While the ACMA blacklist is currently around 1300 URLs, the pilot will test against this list as well as filtering for a range of URLs to around 10,000 so that the impacts on network performance of a larger blacklist can be examined.”

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Max Payne R5 LINE XviD-OPTiC

November 13th, 2008

Editor post: I haven’t watched this movie yet in cinema but it is created based on a very popular game, maxpayne, I bet everyone of u should know or even heard about this game before. Well, the rating is not that good for this film but I am so surprised that OPTiC managed to release the R5 of this movie so quick. Good quality I would say, both audio and video. Download it and watch it at your own pleasure. :D

Plot: Rockstar Games’ antihero Max Payne gets his own movie with this video game adaptation. Mark Wahlberg (THE DEPARTED) plays the titular cop who is still trying to get over the death of his family while investigating several murders, while… Rockstar Games’ antihero Max Payne gets his own movie with this video game adaptation. Mark Wahlberg (THE DEPARTED) plays the titular cop who is still trying to get over the death of his family while investigating several murders, while Mila Kunis (FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL) costars as an assassin desperate for herown revenge.

Genre: Action | Crime | Drama | Thriller
IMDB rating: 5.9/10 (12,437 votes)
Directed by: John Moore
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, Chris O’Donnell, Ludacris, Donal Logue, Amaury Nolasco, Olga Kurylenko

Release Name: Max.Payne.R5.LINE.XviD-OPTiC
Size: 1CD - 700MB
Quality: XviD - 656 x 272 - 886 kbps | MP3 - 124 kbps
Runtime: 100 minutes
Filename: opt-maxpayne-r5

The Dark Knight DVDRip XviD-DoNE

November 13th, 2008

Editor post: This is probably one of the most anticipated movie of the year, not to mention the DVDRip. I have personally watched it in cinema, the movie is as good as it gets, this is one kind of movies that u need to watch it in cinema to get how it feels. For those who do not want to fork out any money or too lazy to go to cinema, DoNE has just released this DVDRip. It is 2.5hours movie so it is in 2 discs of couse, nice quality! Download it for your collection if u have watched it in cinema! ;)

Plot: Batman raises the stakes in his war on crime. With the help of Lieutenant Jim Gordon and District Attorney Harvey Dent, Batman sets out to dismantle the remaining criminal organizations that plague the city streets. The partnership proves to be effective, but they soon find themselves prey to a reign of chaos unleashed by a rising criminal mastermind known to the terrified citizens of Gotham as The Joker.

Genre: Action / Crime / Drama / Mystery / Thriller
IMDB rating: 9.1/10 (260,763 votes)
Directed by: Christopher Nolan
Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Morgan Freeman

Release Name: The.Dark.Knight.DVDRip.XviD-DoNE
Size: 2CD - 1.4GB
Quality: XviD - 656 x 272 | 1336 kbps - AC3 348 kbps
Runtime: 152 minutes
Filename: tdk-done

Cosmetic surgery addict injected cooking oil into her face

November 12th, 2008
Before and after ... Hang Mioku, whose addiction to cosmetic surgery led her to inject oil into her face

Before and after ... Hang Mioku, whose addiction to cosmetic surgery led her to inject oil into her face

A WOMAN addicted to cosmetic surgery is unrecognisable after injecting cooking oil into her face.

The Daily Telegraph in London reports Korean woman Hang Mioku, 48, had her first cosmetic surgery procedure at 28 and was hooked, moving to Japan for more.

Eventually surgeons refused to carry out any more work and she returned home, where her face had changed so much her family didn’t recognise her.

Ms Hang’s parents took her for treatment for her addiction, but it didn’t last. She soon found a doctor who would give her silicone injections and he even gave her a syringe and silicone so she could self-inject, the paper said.

When her supply ran out, she used cooking oil.

Her face became so large compared to her small body that local children called her “standing fan”, the newspaper reported.

After appearing on Korean TV, viewers sent donations so she could have surgery to reduce the size of her face. The first of several operations removed 60g of oil from her face and 200g from her neck.

Her face has been left scarred and disfigured, and Ms Hang said she would like her old looks back.

Source

Desperate son had sex with mum in Darwin home

November 11th, 2008

A MAN had sex with his wheelchair-bound mother because no other women wanted him, a court has been told.

The 26-year-old man asked his mother “why don’t women want me” as they watched a movie at their Darwin home in September this year, the Northern Territory Supreme Court was told.

The man, who moved from Western Australia to Darwin last year, allegedly told his mother: “I can’t get no women here,” the Northern Territory News reported.

Prosecutor Paul Usher said the mother reassured him: “You’ll find the right one”.

But Mr Usher said the son pulled the mother’s “knickers down with one hand” and took a condom out of his wallet, and had sex with his mother on the futon she had been lying on.

Mr Usher said the son had sex again with his mother later, and afterwards she managed to get into her wheelchair to get to her bedroom.

He said the woman, who has been in a wheelchair for seven years due to a debilitating disease, reported the incident to her GP the next day and police arrested the son that afternoon.

The man pleaded guilty to two counts of having sex with a person, knowing that the person was his mother.

The maximum penalty is 14 years’ jail.

Defence lawyer Michelle Swift said the man maintained that it was his mother who made the “initial sexual contact”.

She said he felt “incredibly ashamed” about what had happened and had been “reading the Bible and doing as much sport as he can”.

Justice Sally Thomas adjourned the case for sentencing on November 13.

Source

The tallest and fastest roller coaster in the universe

November 10th, 2008


Top Thrill Dragster

Cedar Point stunned thrill-seekers yet again in 2003 with the debut of the park’s unprecedented 16th, yes, 16th, roller coaster – Top Thrill Dragster. Reaching a stratospheric 420 feet tall and topping out at an unheard of speed of 120 mph, this new steel screamer helped Cedar Point reclaim the title of owning the tallest and fastest roller coaster in the universe.

Riders begin their epic journey aboard this whopping 42-story screamer by securing themselves into ultra-cool trains that resemble top fuel dragsters. The train then moves into a “starting line” position, where it is launched forward, reaching 120 mph in approximately four seconds. The train then zooms straight up the 420-foot-tall hill on track that rotates 90 degrees, crests the coaster’s apex and then free falls back to Earth. But hold on, this isn’t your father’s roller coaster. As the train races 400 feet to the ground, the track twists an unbelievable 270 degrees – what a rush! Riders then return to the station to begin regaling their friends with stories of the greatest ride of their lives.

Designed by world-renowned coaster manufacturer Intamin AG of Wollerau, Switzerland, Top Thrill Dragster is located directly between two other Cedar Point legends: the Magnum XL-200 and Millennium Force roller coasters. Top Thrill Dragster was voted an impressive No. 10 in the 2006 Golden Ticket awards for the “Best Steel Roller Coaster in the World” category. Riders must be at least 52 inches tall to ride Top Thrill Dragster.

Source